in four more years, i'll be a real adult

I frequently joke that I am the oldest 26-year old I know. Having kids young forced Eric and I to mature at a faster rate than most of our college peers. As much as I should probably mourn the loss of my youth of something, I never have. I've actually always loved the fact that I get to be a grown up. I've looked forward to 30, rather than looking at it with mild disgust as some of my other 20-something friends do. And somehow in the midst of all that, I think I've given myself a little bit too much credit.

Reading an article in Relevant magazine ("The Big Three-Oh" written by Adam and Christine Jeske) the other day, I realized how much of a 20-something I still am, whether or not my mommy and grown-up resume appears as though I am in my 30s. Here's an excerpt...

The choices and advances we make in our 20s can take us radically different directions for the rest of our lives. But we let the pressure crush us, leading to stress of paralysis. For me, this angst led me to move 35 times while in my 20s, with 12 different jobs, including part-time gigs. I can partly attribute these moves to a desire to do whatever work God had for me anywhere in the world. But I also know now that a share of my choices followed my own psychological need to find the "best," the "right."

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! Bells went off in my head. Wow, that is exactly how I am. Although the kids and family life have calmed us considerably, that crushing feeling of choosing the right path weighs on me all the time. Then I read this...

Entering my 30s, this pressure is off. Yes, I'm still pushing in new directions, trying to acheive more, considering new work and places. There's not the same force behind it, though. I'm comfortable knowing I'll get where I'm going eventually.

That paragraph makes me breathe a sigh of relief. But it also makes me the teeniest bit unsure. I don't want to fall prey to the "too comfortable" trap. Or maybe I'm just worrying about that now because I'm still a 20-something.

Maybe on my thirtieth birthday, I will wake with a magical knowledge of how to balance my own craziness with God's will and my own comfort with God's mission. Maybe when I turn 30, I will be a real adult. Guess we'll find out in 4 years. Stay tuned.