playing favorites

I was an only child, so I grew up knowing that I must be my mom's favorite person in the world. My mom never had to worry about her attention being spread evenly, though, or even something as simple as who got the biggest bowl of cereal that morning. Because I want my kids to know that they are EACH my favorite, I sometimes obsess over random things being even... such as the aforementioned cereal bowls.

I worry that Lex, who is such a different little person than I am or ever have been, will think that our differences mean I like her less. Do I understand her less? Sometimes. But she also has taught me more in her 8 years of life than anyone else on Earth!

I wonder if Abe will ever develop middle-child syndrome... almost enough to have a fourth child, just so no one can be the middle child. He has more of my personality than the other two seem to at this point, though, so I think we'll get along just fine.

Then I think about how Toby is the third and we sometimes fuss over him less. I already know that he probably won't break and he definitely will outgrow throwing tantrums on the kitchen floor. But I also know he'll grow out of calling cars "byes" and crinkling up his nose into a cheesy smile every morning when I walk into his room. So, as I watch him go through those little milestones for what could be my last time, I want him to know I treasure every moment.

So I have three favorites. I hope they each know that - that they are each the best kid in the world, absolutely irreplaceable, amazing & fun, and I wouldn't know what to do with out them. Some of my favorite moments are when we're all together but sometimes it's even better when I get to run an errand (or trip to Virginia...) with one of them to remind me how wonderful their little personalities are.